Breaking News. Space rock hit Singapore...

Hilarious

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A Special Report by Immer Singh

The small and succesful country of Singapore was awakened by a loud bang at approximately midnight last night. The Boolsheet Press was alerted to the incident by a 20 year old Hougang HDB Resident, Ms Lim Ai Pee.

Said Ms Lim, "The *censored* sound so damn blardy loud lor. Knn, the boss don wan to give me sick leave somemore. He say being sick of irritating people is not sick. Stupid right?"

We followed the smoke and it led us to a clearing in the forest where we found a huge rock, presumably from space. There we found a young karang guni man trying to pick up some rocks with his fellow colleagues.

We managed to take up some of his time for comments.

Said, Alfert Itchycock, 20, "We also dunnoe what it is lor. But so big, sure got value right? Gosh, my rocks are hot. Blow your rocks guys. It'll cool down faster after that."

The rock is around 30metres wide and about as high as one can get with a smoking piece of rock.

The gahmen held an official press conference, with the Dear Minister Harry Lee as the speaker.

Said the Dear Minister, "We think that it may have fell out of the asteroid belt in Uranus."

A young reporter from the MediaCock Corporation, raised his hand and posed a question to Mr Lee. "Uranus?"

"Yes. Uranus." replied the Plime Minister.

"Myanus?"

"No. Uranus."

"My anus? Eh you don pray pray one ah. U think u PM can anyhow say me one is it? Anyhow say my anus one."

The Dear Leader muttered something under his breathe, probably asking for the name of the friendly and chatty young chap.

Also at the conference was Dr Goh Ee Sai, an expert in the field of Space-Time distortion and the Space-Time continuum.

"Acherly ah, Sinjiapore evelytime so lucky one. Good gahmen. Now somemore got this stone. Big stone. Big big stone. Very big big stone. My stupid gahmen ah, they.." said Dr Goh, to which our Dear Leader interrupted.

Dear Leader: "We have another expert today. Meet the "ballistics guy", Dr Tree Gerhapi, of Switzerland."

Dr Tree started his report to much enthusiasm from the crowd, "Eh paiseh ah! I just now playing firecracker at Tampines lah. Then one bush caught fire. When i saw that the fire like going to go out liao then i faster come here. Not say like it can become big again right? Haha. Anyway, so far, using the billions of dollars worth of new equipment purchased by the gahmen for this project, we have determined that it did not come from Earth. Thank you."

The gahmen is scheduling a full report after the upcoming elections.