Christmas Carols 2004

Courtesy www.talkingcock.com

NEW KING LEE HSIEN LOONG
(to the tune of ‘Good King Wenceslas’)

New King Lee Hsien Loong looked out
From his big new office
What he saw, without a doubt,
Were people who were all pissed
All his talk of loos’ning up
Is just propaganda
He’s still got it all sewn up
We’re still more like U-gan-da.

New King Lee Hsien Loong reached out
To the little chewren
They were too dumb to find out
What he said was niu fen
He can really talk the talk
About lib’ralizing
But the talk is all just cock
Why is this sur-pri-i-sing?


STOCKS AND SHARES WE BOUGHT DAMN HIGH
(to the tune of ‘Angels We Have Heard on High’)

Stocks and shares we bought damn high
Now are in the toi-oi-let
We can’t help but wonder why
The Gahmen didn’t foresee it.
Chi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-na A-vi-a-tion Oi-il
Chi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-na A-vi-a-tion Oi-oi-oil

Foreign talents come to us
And take away all our money
Gahmen makes a token fuss
CEO smiles – damn funny!
Chi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-na A-vi-a-tion Oi-il
Chi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-na A-vi-a-tion Oi-oi-oil

Mainland Chinese think we’re dumb
And you know, they could be right
Just look at the silly bums
We’ll vote in election night
Chi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-na A-vi-a-tion Oi-il
Chi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-na A-vi-a-tion Oi-oi-oil


DO YOU FEAR WHAT I FEAR?
(to the tune of ‘Do You Hear What I Hear’)

Said the Gahmen to the High Court Judge
“Do you hear what I hear?
JBJ and chao Dr. Chee
Do you hear what I hear?
Libel, libel, spreading very far
Who do these fools think they are?
Who do these fools think they are?”

Said the Judge to the de-fen-dants
“Do you see what I see?
Coming now to your letter box,
Do you see what I see?
Lawsuit, lawsuit, a big fat lawsuit
That will teach you, or-bi-good
That will teach you, or-bi-good.”

Said the people to one another
“Do you fear what I fear?
Criticism isn’t taken here
Do you fear what I fear?
Small thing, small thing, also cannot say
And we’ll wind up like JBJ
And we’ll wind up like JBJ.”


WE THREE BENGS
(to the tune of ‘We Three Kings’)

We three Bengs of Jalan Boon Lay
Off to Geylang to chuay kway
Blur like sotong
Go wrong lorong
Nin nao hiah, si beh suay!

Refrain:
O-oh, kan ni na bu
Chao chee bye
We all damn buay satisfy
Go the wrong route
Now all tio hoot
Chao Ah Beng all kana sai!


OH PM LEE
(to the tune of ‘Der Tannenbaum’)

Oh PM Lee, oh PM Lee
You are now our prime min’ster
Oh PM Lee, oh PM Lee
Tolong don’t be a monster

We know that it’s part ge-ne-tic
But it would be damn pa-the-tic
For PM Lee, oh PM Lee
For you to be despotic

Oh PM Lee, oh PM Lee
The economy is shrinking
Oh PM Lee, oh PM Lee
What was the Gahmen thinking?

While more and more folks get the sack
You all get your high sal’ries back
Oh PM Lee, oh PM Lee
You all should bleddy kena whack!