What the army teaches us

One of the few things that the army brings out in us is lust.

I swear, after hearing your commanders shouting in your ear and forcing you to do really stupid and exhausting things, the (perceived) soft and gentle "company" of a lady feels like the 7th level of heaven.

Recruits, during their Basic Military Training(BMT), routinely bring their magazines featuring bikini clad women and read, in earnest, the air-headed conversations with these ladies written across the pages as if they were really talking to them. It gives them a sense of reprieve from the harsh and controlled masochistic mayhem that is the army. I'm not implying that they "use" the magazine because in the psychological state that they're in, most impressionable recruits follow the much joked about rule against wanking off in the SAF. True to making use of every available resource in resource-scarce Singapore, the SAF is against informal discharges.

This goes on (the lust, not the magazine reading) throughout one's tenure in the army and in some cases, well past it.

I remember during a Chinese New Year event that was held on the same day and near the vicinity of a similar event held for employees of Cycle and Carriage. I had already been posted out as a permstaff guy and was no longer a recruit. Halfway through the insanely boring army event filled with Getais and a fat man promoting their services by handing out their flyers in the form of a game/contest, a few of us began noticing hot women(from the Cycle and Carriage event) walking past the entrance of the event room, presumably to the toilets.

With the true courage of an SAF Warrior, a few of us headed to the corridor to stand by the wall like pimps watching our fodder go by. We were not dissatisfied. The fodder apparently was though.

I have a BMT buddy who constantly SMSed and talked with his girlfriend throughout his BMT days and seemed oblivious to the surrounding pressure and chaos that most of the rest of us went through. I always wondered how he did it (from blatant eavesdropping sessions, I gathered his girlfriend was herself a handful).

I have another friend who routinely visits Geylang for tau huay and then for the other tau huay. I kind of got the feeling that he felt at peace in that fantasy world.

In the army, when you're not talking about current affairs, fucked up commanders or the latest white horse who's enlisting, you're either talking about hot (in some cases "cute") chicks or verbally rating the babes from friendster or facebook profiles according to hotness, cuteness and several other attributes. Quality of tau huay included.

Look Mum! The army has made me into a man!

Fuck it.

note: I don't really know how the 302's are affected by National Service.