MM Lee highlights plans to attract more foreign talent.

Miser Mentor Lee Kuan Yew, on behalf of his son's government called a press conference to highlight for everyone their new plans to attract more foreign talent. He also highlighted their success with their previous campaign.

Said MM Lee, "Our foreign talent campaign has been very effective so far. Just look at our National Football Team?"

Then he paused, to display a photo of himself standing with the National Squad after they won the Tiger Cup.

A young reporter for The Straits Crimes commented on how for an Asian, MM Lee looked rather tall, as compared to the rest of the squad. MM Lee began to smile to himself.

Continued the Miser, "In related issues, our foreign policy with regards to domestic help has also been very successful so far. No where else in the region is there a nation with so great a number of domestic helpers."

John Cecilia of Cuteworm Farms then posed this question to the Miser. "How about the locals here? Won't these foreigners be stealing our jobs?"

To this MM Lee replied, "Don't you worry about the locals. They have always been and wil always be an ass-", to which he paused for a well deserved drink from his glass of water. After which he continued, "-et to Singapore and her society. Besides, if ever they need a job, they can always wash dishes at my residence.", a statement which drew a hearty laugh from the 5 strong members of the press. Some of us did notice that the Miser did have a confused look on his face though. Oddly enough, none of us decided to query his perplexed look.

Another member of the press, Mr Foh Koff Andai then posed this question to him, "How about the community care jobs?"

"Who? The Bangla road sweepers?" replied the Miser.

"Yes. The community helpers."

The Miser then noted, "Well, my son's, the Prime Miser, the Prime Miser's Orifice, erm, tsk, Office, has been actively promoting these jobs for those ppl who have been classified as suitable for these kind of fulfilling jobs. You know? The jobs that give you that sense of community achievement."

"Last question please." piped the Chairmare of the press conference.

The Poo Paper managed to ask the last question.

"What do you think of the Casino?"

"Well", started the Miser, "if it helps bring more money into my, er, our, erm tsk, Singapore's pockets, then it's a great idea. Which it is."

Then he muttered something that rhymed with, "I'll be gone anyway, to hell with Singapore." a statement which we at The Poo Paper believes holds a secret code for success so anyone smart enough can decode it and understand it's secrets. We already have our own team working on it! It's just that promising.

Concluded the Miser, "Thank you everyone for attending, this session. Kopi's on me!"

This has been Ranjit Singh Alawng, for The Poo Paper.

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