21 + 7

I had planned to book out on friday but that was cancelled due to RT - 6km route march. So basically my halloween plans were ruined. Not that I had any concrete plans but I planned to go out la. I mean, cmon. We're all lao jiaos to some degree. 6km is nothing but a waste of time for us. Some of us have been on 62 route marches (or 64 or 68, I forget) before.

The crazy ones among us decided to compensate for this change of fortunes with a camo-on parade but it was shelved after everyone got tired and just fell asleep... at like 10.30pm.

I wolfed down 2 durian flavoured potong ice creams before I turned in and finished my last pack of smokes.

Woke up the next day and dude the standard routine stuff and finally headed out for the damn march. I volunteered myself to be the rear scout but alas there was no smoking or fooling around because the safety vehicle was trailing us all the way.

Ended up booking out at 11ish. Headed to the nearest mac and bought a McSpicy meal and took the bus home.

Took a nice drag on my newly bought smokes at the stairwell of my block before I began to realise that my pockets felt lighter than usual. Did a quick change and found my house keys were missing. Did a quick call to the Ops room to get the number of my coy and asked the COS to keep my keys for me, which were left on my locker.

It was a good thing my bro was home so he opened up the door. Finished up my unwatched tv episodes on the ipod while laying in my comfy bed while eating the damn McSpicy.

It took only about half an hour before I began to feel sharp pains in my gut. So as usual, I took a sip of my McMilo, which expectedly, only made the fucking thing worse. It was beginning to feel like my insides were coated with napalm.

Tahaned the pain all the way as I brought my family to eat at Pagi Sore (which I incorrectly pronounced as 'sore' in the pain sense. It's pronounced `saw-ray`). We didn't end up eating there though because my sister was not fond of spicy foods. So we ended up eating at the unmaintained hawker centre where Oyaku Don meals were only $2.80. Halfway through the meal I began to feel my large intestine began to disintegrate so I rushed off to the disgusting toilet.

Through to it's outward appearance and location, the toilet was filthy and the only squatting-toilet-bowl-equipped cubicle was at the corner which was only slightly bigger than the width of my shoulders. This did not include the fact that there was a fucking pillar at the entrance of the cubicle and that whole thing narrowed towards the back of the stall.

About 2 minutes into the all out assault on the bowl, I decided that killing my lungs with the smell was just not worth it. So I took out a pack of smokes and puffed away. Finally called a cease-fire just under 10 minutes into the exercise, decided the stench was still in my nose hairs and headed out to the nearest parking lot to clear my lungs of the stench. So I lit another cigarette.

Directed my dad on how to get to the place where I was gonna collect my co2 canister before deciding that it was too much for me to bear but I remembered the training that they thought me in the SAF and somehow managed to hold it all in.

Finally reached home and using the SAF method of holding in my waste materials, I managed to set up my co2 canister for my tank before finally going for another offensive operation on the toilet bowl.

Drove out to meet shahryl for a drink but decided that I still needed to make another bombing run so went up to his office and decimated his bowl. The best part was that it could not flush a second time. So there were still remnants of my activities floating around.

Headed over to a nearby coffeeshop as we drank about a quarter of the night away, talking about old times and catching up. Went back home at about 3ish-4 (if I rmb correctly) and woke up unprepared to book in.

Luckily, my dad was willing to send me because his badminton game was cancelled so I reached there just as they were about to board the bus.

So that's how my weekened went, a week after my 21st. Not too interesting but not too dull.

21st Birthday.

Friday started off like every other day for the past 3 weeks. Woke up at 5.30, exercised at 5.45, ate breakfast at 6 and smoked till 7.

Santos bailed from yet another duty so just wanting to make the time pass faster, I took up his slack. Had a good smoke at Rocky Hill where we set up camp. Chatted with Jan about life and before we knew it, our CSM was barelling down the road, in the wrong gear nonetheless, and bitching about the location of the water point.

Being the laojiao that I am, the next 8 hours passed by very quickly.

Had a good birthday bash from the guys after dinner (where they throw all sorts of rubbish at you from camo cream to milo powder to ribena). Some ass threw fucking detergent down my pants, provided by the not-my-fren-anymore 'firhan'. Ass. Chased a few of them down the corridor before rubbing my filthy arms over Section 3's windows. haha.

It took me a good half hour to wash off everything and a few more hours for the minty sensation on my member to subside.

Fell in at about 7ish for book out. Reached in my field pack to switch my spectacles and ended up slicing my left pinky on the uncovered Gillette Fusion razor blade I had put inside. Bled quite a fair bit from that. My pinky's still somewhat swollen by the way.

It was beginning to look like my birthday in 2006 so I had a good smoke on the ferry to calm my nerves.

Went home with Syed, bought him a Mocha Frap and smoked and talked about life in general. Reached home at about 9 and texted Mich to tell her I was too knackered to meet up with her. Went to sleep at 9.30 and woke up at around 9am the next day, hugging my bolster nonetheless. Worked on Azul from then on till about 5ish. Got rdy to go out and well, headed out. Minus smokes.

I've always been one who hates celebrating my birthday. 21st or not. I hate being in the spotlight when I don't want to be in it. That being said, I do occasionally enjoy stealing the spotlight. haha. I just don't like people to be scrutinising me in my ordinary disposition.

Dad bought me a limited edition F2002 model set. Number 2510(25th Oct) out of 5555. It was unsigned unfortunately because despite his meeting both Massa and Kimi, they were not allowed to sign stuff.

Ate a $60 buffet at Royal Park @ Scotts with the family but didn't stuff myself because for some reason, I was already stuffed.

Left at about 8 to meet hansel to get inked. Well actually, to get sprayed. Airbrushed to be exact. I had always wanted to see what the alternatives looked like. It looked nice but was nothing like the real thing.

The entire process was over pretty fast and I found myself texting my dad to see if he was still in the area to give me a lift, which he was. Dropped me off at Double 0 - which my dad swore was near the old Madam Wong's which made me wonder what he was like when he was younger.

Met Jeremy, his bro and his gay partner (so he says) almost as soon as I had stepped out of the car. Chatted for a bit then quickly queued up behind the fast growing line. Then James popped out of nowhere and we queued together. Yea. Fun stuff. lol

Did the usual entry-exit at O-Bar and had a quick smoke which is when Mich and Sophie popped out of nowhere and joined in the Global Warming contest.

Queued up again after that and in keeping with the theme that evening, Kyle too popped out of nowhere. I swear, I must have been fucking blur at that point in time because I seriously did not see any of them coming.

Hana S., Khairiyah and Sophia

Went up to the table and got bored pretty fast. Asked Mich to make out with me but was brushed aside. Asked Sophie to make out with me and was laughed off. Asked Kyle to make out with me and he moved in close before he saw my tongue and quickly moved back. haha.

Mich (behind my elbow), Kenneth (behind my big biceps) and me

Anyways, the rest started showing up soon after. Saw (2lt) Alvin at the place and he bought me a jug of something. Nice guy. Started doing shots with Khai, Wan and intermittently with some of the other guys.

Went for a smoke after about the 7th shot with Wan and Khai. Laughed our asses off at Wan who was laughing uncontrollably for some reason. Came back and was forced to take about another 3 or 4 shots. That was when I felt like eating steak. Mostly because the now semi regurgitated steak was tantalising my taste buds. mmm. Steak. Thought about it a little more, turned to the right and boom. I exploded. Having a slight flu and a chest infection and doing shit like this was probably not a good thing.

Me and (CPL) James

It was at about the second wave of shots that I began to feel high. Personally, my best so far was 11 shots in about an hour and a half while still feeling relatively in control. With the exception of feeling the need to run and laughing very easily, I didn't feel like puking. Oddly enough, that time it was on an empty stomach.

Wan, Khairul and me

Apparently, being sick seriously screws my ability to control myself. Went for another smoke and sat down on the couch and began to stone.

Ben and Ash popped by somewhere around 12. Champagne was opened and I took a sip before handing it to Ben cuz I was seriously not feeling it. Ben then disappeared somewhere around 12:01. The ass.

Joline J (Facebook acquaintance and Khairiyah's member)

Went to the floor with Ash and Ken for a bit where I was jumping like mad for some reason. True to the rocker's jump, I lost my shades which were in my pocket. Went back to the couch when I felt my lips cracking up.

Stoned for a bit more and took some photos with the guys, taken by some Ang Mo girl from the next table WHO STILL HAS NOT SENT ME THE PHOTOS. The bitch. lol

Laughed at Kyle who was lying down on the chair in a fashion similar to a person who had been dead for a significant period of time.

About half an hour later, Mich stumbled to the couch and dragged me out to the floor again. Happened to be at the spot where Khairiyah, Siddig and Joline were dancing. I don't really remember much on that. Mainly that me and mich were sort of dancing up the wall and after something I said, she gave me a quick peck on the lips. I cannot recall what I said.

Seeing the other 3 girls were dancing by themselves, Mich asked me to dance with them which I did as she went off to dance with her lover for the night. Danced with Joline for a bit but she was frigid, or possibly turned off by the fact that I could still have had bile on me (which I didn't). So moved to Siddig who faced me but quickly pointed out that she doesn't like to grind guys. So, ok. Danced for like a few minutes before getting bored and went back for a smoke before heading back to the table.

By now, Wan was puking in a jug and staring at the contents intently. He was seriously past it. Stoned on the couch even more before hearing a song I really liked and ran to the dancefloor to find my kaki but they were not there so I went back and stoned till closing time - which was not long, taking a few sips of whatever was left as the time passed.

Closing time arrived at 3.40 instead of 4 and soon we were all headed off. Found that my present from Mich had been stolen. Bastards.

Stupidly asked the bounced to give me a call if he found my shades and the present to which he agreed before walking off. By now I was sober enough to know that I hadn't even given him my number yet. The fucker.

The rest of us headed down and stoned near a deserted road. Kyle who woke up the moment the music stopped had disappeared in spite of himself.

Walked all the way to a not so nearby macdonalds. Khai was spotted by a fucking ugly transvestite who started yelling out to him, calling him chubby and stuff. Wan who was still pretty cranky and ticklish began talking about yanking the lampost out of the ground and using it to hit the tranny.

Queued up at Mac with Wan grumbling all the way about the counter staff being too slow for their own good, and Khai and me laughing our asses off. Mich and her lover for the night had gone to 7eleven, probably to make out. Ken and Decay were already seated at the table.

The usual stuff happened after that except that Ming called Mich to say he was coming to pick her up. That left Ken in a bind because he was the only one staying in the west.

That pretty much concluded my 21st birthday. It was nothing like Jac's birthday, the one where her dad, my uncle, rented a friggin huge bungalow and invited the minister of defence down. Pretty boring by activity's standards, but it was enough for me to have some good friends there.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I'm one of the last of an era. One of the last few hundred still active NSFs who have been trained in both the M16 as well as the Sar21. I'm one of the last few born in the year 1987, the last year to not have a recurring number in the numerics of the year. (1989 has 2 nines, 1990 has 2 nines, etc)

Saturday Night's the night alright...

Went out to Dbl 0 again with some friends. Didn't drink cuz I was driving. Freakin boring la. But at least they had fun and I know all of them got home safe.... cuz I was driving them home!

Anyways, woke up at like 11 this morning despite sleeping at about 6 cuz I was trying to get my body clock in rhythm for my course. Fuck la, it's like 11pm now. So much for that.

Planning to go clubbing again this saturday. I so intend to let off some steam.

Hopefully my course will be damn slack. I know a number of the people going and a few of the people in the company itself. Haha. Make me suffer equals problems with Audit for you! wahahaha. no la.

I intend to train though. I'm seriously out of shape. My beer belly is starting to grow more. I already have my stash of handrolls ready. 3 packs of Butterfly menthol. lolz.

Really nothing much to say anymore. I'm starting to blank out my mind in preparation for tmr. I guess I'll see you in a week.

Byes.

alalala

What the hell was in the air last night.

I hit the sack at about 6am and literally had to hold my hands up just to text my friend.

I woke up at 4.30 pm the next day feeling extremely sleepy. Not the I-want-to-sleep-but-I-know-it-will-make-me-sore sleepy, twas more like the I-really-want-to-go-to-sleep kind of feeling.

So I messaged a buddy about the possibility of bailing from tonight's thing and got a screenfull of labels on my phone. lol.

Needless to say, tonight I WILL be going out. haha

ARGH

I just gave up the chance to make $70 to $80 so I can go clubbing tmr.. I hope it's worth it ah.. knn.. Better be worth it. My last day!

Partay

I like it when you dance close to me.
I like it when you look me in the eyes real close.
I like it when you rest your head on my shoulder.
I like it when you put your arms around me and mine around yours.
I like it when you hold me when you need steadying.
I like it when you look at me for direction.

I don't like it when you start randomly grabbing at guys who you know will only lead to trouble.
I don't like it when you give out numbers to people before even saying hi.
I don't like it when you ask me for an answer but won't hear it.
I don't like it when you toy with me.
I don't like it when you assume I will always be there for you.
I don't like it when you use me and my friends as stepping stones. It hurts to be walked over.


As a friend, I want you to be happy K?

Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself.

Men are cruel and the world in unfair.

"Men are cruel and the world is unfair." These words were reinforced repeatedly to my platoon by one 1LT Arthur Poh.

It was a pretty cynical statement but either I've been indoctrinated by the SAF, or I've been let privy to a world beyond the borders of my niche because I now feel this to be true.

Of course for all the good things he thought us, the man was generally an asshole himself but who I am to judge.


There's this guy I know.

Apparently he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and psychosis. The best part is he claims to have been totally cured of both mental illnesses. I literally wanted to laugh my ass off at that statement because to the best of my knowledge, such a disorder is not curable unless it was brought on later in life. He claims to have been born normal.

Subject displays symptoms of rash anger and easy irritability. According to my amatuer knowledge, bipolar disorder is a "I am now very happy for no reason" and then "I am now very sad/angry for no reason" problem, generally speaking of course. It's not a "I am happy now but since you pissed me off, you'll get it" kind of thing. It just follows cycles.

Subject also claims to have fought to have stayed on for his NS term instead of getting a PES F rating. Bitches and moans about knowing how to do everything and also repeatedly points out how he used to handle his many many events outside. Does not give details.

Subject is always late to camp. He either immediately goes to the bunk to sleep or goes to play soccer. His duties are never done. This includes the single "This is your jobscope that no one else is allowed to touch" duty of compiling the parade state every morning.

He is an unreliable person and a backstabber with no balls to cover his colleagues who have covered for him. Has no respect for anyone but his elder brother and constantly hurls vulgarities, often putting our now-ORD-ded resident Tourettes man to shame.

Subject mentions how since he will be ORDing later than most of us, he will therefore be more lao jiao than us. He lost me on that one.

Claims his brother was an RP and therefore from the stories, he knows how life is like in camp. Lol. This includes how life is like in BMT. A tick for BMT in Ninja, Mohawk, Taurus and Viper. Yes, he knows how BMT is like in all these companies. Lol.

Fyi, subject was sent for BMT in unit and was down PES-ed that same day. He was posted straight here after the fuckers in HQ decided that they need the creme de-la creme. We are a god damn support unit. We are the fuckers you call when you want work to be done. How the fuck do you think we are going to work with morons like this?

On the very first day he came in, he texted everyone, asking if we wanted to hang out. He even passed one of my friends' number to his own friend for friendship building. I... I.... lol.

Subject never replies to SMSes and frequently asks people to cover him. This includes when he is talking to his imaginary girlfriend on the phone, with the loudspeaker on.

In my opinion, these are all symptoms of a fucking attitude problem. Not a mental disorder.

Most of the elder malays sucked up to him cuz they needed to build connections with him for future manipulations. The chinese hated him cuz he's a racist bigot. And everyone in the office hated him because exactly as the saying goes, we actually do better without him.

He's not just a dead weight, he actually swims in the opposite direction.

In my opinion, he is not fit to live. But with foresight, who am I to judge. I am no saint myself. Judge not lest ye be judged. A saying popularised by a famous TV villain no doubt.


So I posthulate.

Children, despite their misgivings and disappointments in their early lives never do truly grasp the concept of "nothing in this world is fair". You really need to experience it to understand it.

And that, in essence is what separates most of the women from most of the men. Women begin their experiences in the real world in an environment with few and lighter consequences.

For most of us men, yes even some of the PES Es, they have experienced the consequences of assholism. They know that making it easier for yourself makes it harder on someone else which makes people hate you which makes people want to kill you which makes people do bad things which makes life harder for even more people.

There are but few things wrong on paper with the SAF. Everything else is just from the people in it.

Goodbye to my first fishing friend.

Ken (Wannabe on FishingKaki) was one of my first real fishing kakis. I got to know the kid through the forums when i was but still a humble Blur Sotong.

I thought I could write some nice memories about the guy but the truth is, it was a long time ago.


What I do remember though was that he was a good kid. Cheeky but good. Knowing where the boundaries were and sensitive to people's moods, he would often beam us a smile and let me tell you, he probably coined the phrase 'grinning from ear to ear'.


When he laughed, it often brought me back to the days when I was his age when the only thing we had to worry about was whether I had enough money to buy seaweed. His laughter was more like a healthy and boisterous chuckle. Loud and strong.

He was the one who really got me into fishing. He was the one who started me thinking about the quality of the fishing tackle I bought. He was one of the first few who would sometimes jio me out for 11th hour fishing stints. I didn't always go though. I wish I had.

Ken was one of those guys who could get you to do something for him even if you didn't want to, and you'd still mostly likely end up feeling like you're suddenly doing the right thing. And I don't think I'm the only one. He had that amount of energy and bubbly-ness to pass around.

I once brought him along with some classmates (or you could say he brought me along) to Bedok Jetty for an overnighter-of-fishing. I can't really remember much that day but I do remember him being really wacky. My friends though can still remember him. That's how much of an impression he could leave.

Sadly, we grew apart, mainly due to my school commitments. But I think we still considered ourselves close. He started a short lived blog because of a fishing related entry I wrote in my blog. I had some fun teasing him about his blog's lifespan. He even called me, or rather 'MSNed' me for a boat trip after a really long time of little contact. The power of the youngsters and the internet aye? :-) These are the pictures you see now.

Ken's enthusiasm for fishing at the time was so immense that he even created 2 fishing clubs, both of which I joined. His ability to attract people with similar passions was great. Sometimes, he would attract the wrong kind of person but he would always overcome many problems and was not afraid to ditch people if they were asses. Trust me, he ditched some mutual acquaintances even quicker than me.

I don't really know if he was still in to fishing. Perhaps he started new hobbies. I don't really know. But I know that he definitely had an impact on me.

I've only ever had 1 other defining peer in my life move on to the next world. Ken now joins him as the second.

Tight lines old friend. If I had to leave early I'm pretty sure I would want to have lived like you.


Ken Yeo
13 Aug 1992 - 1 Sept 2008

Ashcuse me, there ish a problem wit your mic.

The other day I was handling an Anti-Tobacco talk in my auditorium where the Emcee was a pack-a-day smoker. There were many boring speeches by many people who had a lot to say including a "recoveree" who literally gave a 2 second pause after reading each sentence very slowly in his "How I Gave up Smoking Speech". Of course there were 'fun' speeches from a few like the 9Div Commander who was open enough to actually interact with the crowd although if one of the 2ICs had shared his story of why he quit smoking it would have been really nice (it's really very touching but it's his story to tell, so...) .

Anyway, apart from all that, there was a skit by HPB.

There was this young lady who looked alright but who wore a figure-hugging dress that was really flattering, and misleading. So when we set her up with the wireless clip-on mic, almost all of us were wondering where on earth she kept the transmitter. I don't need to tell you where our first guess was.

About halfway through the skit, she forgot to unmute her mic and she was left to shout out her lines. Being the gentlemen I was, I rushed backstage with a wireless handheld mic before stopping at the curtain.

The lead actor was very observant and saw me standing by the side and cued me out with a "Yes? Can I help you?". So I walked out and knocked on the invisible door and handed the mic to the young lady. There was silence for a bit before the lead actor thanked me with great exaggeration and I gave him a down-swinging 2 finger salute. Then the crowd went wild, cheering loudly.

My hands were shaking a little when I reached the curtain not because I was enjoying the glory, but because that 2 finger salute was actually a really good save from my performing a real SAF salute. When thanking or acknowledging my friends, we generally salute each other and I realised how close I was to almost giving that civilian the same thing. Luckily, muscle memory from previous habits managed to convert that salute to a casual one.

For Pete's sake, the COMMANDER of the 9th Division was there!

Anyway, I promptly headed back up to the control room after the scene was over but by the next scene, she had turned off the microphone again. wtf.

Talk about a 'doh' moment. Luckily, that was her last scene.

I cannot hear you lah sir.

The army is full of 'one-kind' people. I think it's because of the different subcultures that we grew up in. Something acceptable to one subculture might not be in another and that's just assuming we're all conforming to it.

I know of one such person who has been stuck as a 1st Lieutenant for a really really long time. He is the last minute king. Recently, he strolled into our office 4.45 and calmly informed us off a high key talk the next day. He then proceeded to arrow(the art of military delegation of work) a few other key personnel in the other offices. Then he went home.

Then there was the other time he called me at 8pm to tell me he needed to use the auditorium the next day. I gently told him to bugger off as we don't entertain requests as close to the eleventh hour because of the preparation we need to do but somehow he managed to butter my officer and suddenly I found myself with a booking slot with no aircon schedule and ill-prepared equipment.

Then there was the Master Sergeant who followed his OC around like a puppy. He's a nice guy when he's not pissed and has a wacky sense of humour but to see a grown man follow his boss around even between rooms and even sitting on the floor while his boss sits on the chairs, it's really degrading.

I have a million other stories to tell and I'm not even half way done with my NS life.

Fascinating.

Lady from Quebec

In the army, we constantly point out and rate chicks. At least that's what me and my colleagues do. Perhaps because we have nothing better to do, perhaps because of the sudden change of visual stimuli or even because of an apparent need to prove one's manliness, but every time I oversee a Graduation Parade or an Enlistment, my colleagues and I trade hand signals and silent nods showing our approval or disapproval of our targets.

This is especially true during Graduation Parades when girlfriends(usually) dress to impress. It's a proud moment for their other halfs to 'pass-out' and many are not shy to mirror that sentiment in their fashion sense. Sometimes even sisters decide to put on a little show for the soldiers she knows are watching her.

Sometimes we even consider fashionable aunties in our assessments. 1 out of every 4 GPs though have poor showings in terms of the statistics of 'hot chicks'.

There was however this one GP 2 days ago where there was this supremely gorgeous chick. With a plunging neckline that still kept her classy and not in the least bit inappropriate and a smile to match, she truly was a vision of an angel. People use that phrase all the time to describe pretty women but in truth, she could have truly been an angel and I would not have been surprised.

In her gray dress (I swear it was light gray but my friends said it was an obvious blue :x) with flowers above the hem, with legs to die for and slightly brown, slightly wavy hair done by God himself, she was a radiant vision of beauty and style.

In my book, she was a perfect 10. She was even familiar with some of the other recruits' girlfriends who were of no similar caliber when they stood next to her. From the way she walked, to the way she interacted with her friends, I stopped caring about stuff like how she might sound like and what attitude she had. I was mesmerised.

She was slow in going to meet her boyfren/brother and that loaned more credibility to the notion that she was someone's sister. Instead of being all over her, the recruit was instead more content to take photos with his buddies and another girl(yes, there was another girl), leaving me even more convinced that she truly was just someone's sister.

She had caught me looking at her a number of times and was not afraid to look back. There was once she even started waving in my general direction and flashing that gorgeous smile but as there were still parents in front, I assumed that she was waving at her friends. Little did I know that she was waving at me.

Alas she was too far away for me to go down and talk to her while still looking casual and my stupid stupid refusal to screw up my military life stopped me from even waving at her.

Instead, I continued to look at her and she would occasionally look back, throwing me for a loop and wishing that from a distance, she would think I was worth it to break all protocol and actually walk up the bleachers to me so I could save my stupid military face. But life is not like the movies.

Too soon, the parents and graduants from BMTC Quebec 02/08 were invited to make their way to the ferry terminal. Throughout her slow and beautiful stroll to the edge of the parade square, she kept looking back and with each step she took, she moved further and further away until she could not be seen.

I was left alone again, wondering what had just happened.

The next day there was an enlistment exercise and although I related my story to my friends with vigour, the traditional practice of pointing out the 'hot chicks' no longer had the same appeal as it once did. Instead, I stared out into the sea of parents and silently wished she had another brother enlisting.

I was day dreaming again of course but sometimes, just sometimes, foolish hope pays.

Sometimes I wish Singapore was smaller.

Microsoft loves the taste of feet in mouth.

http://www.news.com/Microsoft-says-Firefox-not-a-threat-to-IE/2100-1032_3-5448719.html?tag=nw.20

Hahahaha!