New Camera Incident

I was testing out my new camera right? I intended to try out all the modes (I had to settle for an almost fully auto camera as a replacement for my trade-in because of budget concerns).

Anyway, I decided to take a snapshot to check the colour comp so I found this nice "dilapidated" corner near to where I was parked. Unfortunately, there was a man there. He was on his feet and moving about but after a short while I concluded that he was not going to leave the place.

So I reasoned that I was not going to use this for production anyway so I took a picture. Big mistake. Upon reviewing the shot, I heard shouting. Ignored it at first but then I looked up and saw the fucker in the picture running towards me with what I thought was a stick.

He came after me shouting in his foreign tongue while I did the Indian Dance around my parked van (which was not locked, had the driver door semi closed, with the keys still in the ignition). That's when I saw that what he actually held was a seriously thick, almost empty liquor bottle.

Mo...ther...fuck...er...

I did the moon-run to a nearby building (my office). While he did the drunken master run towards me. As I stumbled for the words in Mandarin he stopped, and I stopped, about 5 to 6 metres apart. Clearly this man was insane! Who the hell runs after people with empty bottles? This is the new millenium. We use the full weight of the law instead!

Then he shouted in English, "You take my photo?! You Chee Bye!" or something to that effect. Quite frankly, I am not obliged to recall the random shit fouling up his mouth but I guarantee you those words were uttered by him at some point. He went on and on repeating the same old shit but I ignored most of it. My eyes were glued to the thick bottle.

I tried to explain the situation, that I was only taking a test shot and actually wanted him out of the photo. One of my rules is you only fight strangers if they are sane. But this man was clearly well past it.

Then he spoke with some semblance of intelligence. "You come show me!".

I was going nowhere near a crazy and drunk dude with a weapon of ass destruction (giggity giggity - Family Guy).

So I demanded he put down the bottle first. And using none of that "I must insist that you be so kind as to relinquish that bottle" nonsense. I was getting pretty pissed by then. So I shouted for him to put down the bottle. I shouted so loud my voice sounded like Daughtry.

He refused, I tried it a second time. He refused again. He leaned forward. I took a small quick step towards him. He stood up straight again. As I began to bend my self-made rule, vehicles began to trickle past us.

I had started to threaten him instead. lol. As I began to find a place to keep my camera to protect it, I started making towards him and shouting, of all things, calling the police. The crazy dude started trotting back to his lair, shouting that if he ever saw me again something would happen. I'm pretty sure he detailed what he claimed would happen but I don't really think it matters.

The next time he comes after me I'll be sure to keep my camera somewhere safe, or better still, video the event. Only then will my hands be free.

One of the drivers who had just parked behind me came out of his vehicle and impressed upon me that he was a regular around these parts and that that crazy man was truly missing a few marbles. We had a nice brief chat about the crazy man and about parking wardens and their schedules before we went our separate ways.

These last few days have been way too exciting for me. Work has contributed significantly to the excitement these few days but this thing definitely is worth a solid stroke on the ole checklist.